building habits: january 2014

the point of goals is to remind you of what you want to accomplish in a month, right? so that you at least get something done... even if you don't manage it all {or most of it...}. right? right. just gonna keep telling myself that.

quota: one rosetta stone activity or 15 minutes of duolingo per day // goal: learn spanish
progress: none.
verdict: try again. a lot harder.

quota: finish digitizing 2003-2004 // goal: digitize memorabilia
progress: none. but i did manage to upload december 2013 photos, and finish up my 2013 photobook!
verdict: pseudo-success. effort still required.

quota: turn off electronics by 11pm four nights a week // goal: reasonable hours
progress: i didn't really track this very well, so i don't know how effective i actually was. i did make a concerted effort many days though, so i think i am heading toward the overall goal. also, because i have had a cold all month, i've made sleeping more a big focus, so this goal was definitely a focus.  this month i will see if i can't track the quota-meeting more effectively.
verdict: on the way!

quota: one serving of greens per day // goal: eat healthier
progress: making this a specific goal has definitely made me aware of the days i am not eating enough greens. again, i didn't track this very well, but i do feel that i made an effort to meet it every day.
verdict: on the way!

quota: exercise three times a week // goal: keep active
progress: the never-ending cold i came down with the first week in january waylaid this goal quite a bit. i squeezed in two rounds of jillian the one week i felt well(ish), and went on a few walks. i'm not too bothered about the lack of workouts, because when ill sleeping is more important, but maybe a good balance would be more walking!
verdict: overall, not well met, but for good reason.

so...based on the non-progress with many goals, february's quotas are looking pretty identical to january's. with the addition of "tracking quota progress"...

hello, 2014.

my bloglovin' feed has been overwhelmed with new year posts over the past few days.  collections of favorite posts from 2013, reflections on the past year, and fresh resolutions for 2014 abound.

this is one of those posts, but also, it isn't. because i don't have any fresh resolutions for 2014. i love the states of mind i chose last january. they have served me so very well in 2013, and more importantly, in this season of my life. and my life is still in the same season as when i chose those words and their personalized meanings. so i will keep those words, keep that emphasis on those certain states of mind, as i find my way through 2014. i am hoping to make a piece of art to hang in my apartment to be a gentle reminder to choose joy, health, love, focus and peace as often as possible.

as for actual goals, they're not too far off from the ones i set for myself last year. some are ongoing goals {aka efforts to build better habits}, and some are goals that simply weren't accomplished.  still planning on using the quota/goal system i started testing out in july, because when i hit my quotas i make progress on the goals. i might find myself tweaking the 'quota' portion of the goal though, as the year progresses and life necessitates adaptation. anyway, to get to the point, goals: learn spanish, digitize memorabilia, keep reasonable hours, eat healthier, & keep active.

goal: january quotas
learn spanish: one rosetta stone activity or 15 minutes of duolingo per day
digitize memorabilia: finish digitizing 2003-2004.
keep reasonable hours: electronics off by 11 four nights a week
eat healthier: at least one serving of greens per day
keep active: exercise three times a week

looking forward to another year!

quote: ee cummings.

building habits: update 3

belated update on micro quotas and macro goals. might even keep it belated in the future, because that would be more in keeping with the calendar... anyway. october was...well, iffy, goals-wise. november will need a bit of adjusting. but! sleep and exercise got prioritized and that was great. because they're priorities. so now it's keeping those as priorities, and also accomplishing the rest. lunches probably need work too, and less eating out should probably be a goal. maybe someday! sigh. i'm not even watching tv on weeknights to get everything in and i still can't manage it all...which is totally not a woe is me moment, but a how do you do it all?! moment. promise. {but really - how do you do it all?!}

quota: thirty minutes of rosetta stone per day // goal: learn spanish
progress: at the beginning of the month, i was doing pretty well, fitting in at least 20 minutes at least 5 days a week. but then work got crazy and my fella came to visit and there was a wedding to attend and basically spanish practice got sidelined. excuses, excuses.
verdict: needs work.

quota: two hours per weekend documenting // goal: digitize memorabilia
progress: two of my weekends were full of time with my fella, which takes priority, but i have no good reason for why the other weekends didn't happen. i even have the gear now! i guess this means it's time to get cracking...
verdict: try again.

quota: one hour article work per week // goal: write an article by october december 2013
progress: still a struggle. but i think i might have finally found a topic i'm interested in writing about, and have already done a bit of research on for work, so now i just have to make sure it's viable.
verdict: try again.

quota: turn off electronics by 11pm // goal: reasonable hours
progress: okay, until about 3 days ago i was doing fantastically on this one. seriously. which is part of why the other goals are suffering, actually, because i prioritized getting on a sleep schedule. so if something hadn't happened by 11, it wasn't happening. and i was liking it. i got off track because fella left and that always throws me off, but this is working and i like it. it also makes morning work outs so much more realistic!
verdict: almost a success!

new quota: 3 green smoothies a week // new goal: healthier eating
progress: not even. well....actually sort of, now that i think about it. i moved past larabars for breakfast (!!) and am doing a mix of smoothies or yogurt&granola...depending on how close to 7 i actually start my workout. so lately it's been pretty heavy on the yogurt&granola.
verdict: rubbish. try again.

new quota: 3 workouts a week // new goal: healthy living
progress: oooooh so much winning with this! i failed on the squat/sit-up challenged i mentioned last month, but that's totally okay because i committed to doing jillian's 30 day shred about 3 weeks ago and it's happening. i think i explained this in a quicktakes but basically the plan is to jillian at 7 am M-F, with 2 days break (so each level takes 2 weeks). it doesn't always work that way - this week i was gone tuesday morning for work, so i'll be making it up saturday - but the point is 5 days of exercise a week, and since the whole fam is doing it we're pretty okay at sticking to it. plus there are some solid laughs to be had when you have four people (and 2 pups) jillian-ing in the early hours.
verdict: met!!

31 days of cards

i decided to jump on the 31 day train. i even linked up with the personal endeavors category. i liked the intentionality behind the idea. for me, it wasn't every day of october, because i didn't think this was about creating a burden for yourself. it was about creating a benefit, for yourself or for others. so this month i snail-mailed as many home-made cards as i could manage to make! i know the joy i feel when i get mail, so it only seemed right to spread that joy.

a morning person

project become-a-morning-person commenced at 7am yesterday...

quote: elisabeth kubler-ross.

i am still traveling the thought lines that inspired last week's post on kintsugi and brokenness. i can't say i'm surprised - it's a complex concept, being a human, living life.

the most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.  these persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. beautiful people do not just happen.
          - elisabeth kubler-ross

x

kintsugi

yesterday, i read a piece by glennon over at momastery, which is full of thoughtful insight on the human condition. {do read it.} within all the marvelous words, glennon offered up this gem:

"I used to say: I'm broken. Fix me. Then I grew up a little and said: WAIT A MINUTE. I'M NOT BROKEN. And now I'm a real grown up so I say: Of course I'm broken. And I love, love, love myself that way. If you're comfortable with that - come sit with me and we can laugh and cry and be broken and beautiful together. But don't try to fix me - I didn't ask for that. I just asked for some good company in which to be human."

this. of course i am broken. life well lived can be a rough and tumble ride, and no one ever promised you wouldn't fall to pieces over it. in fact, as oprah said, "we can't become what we need to be by remaining what we are." changing events may be gradual and almost unnoticed, or they may come hard and fast. they may lift you, but they may also break you. and that is okay. because what i have learned on this journey of life is that when you're standing there, holding the pieces of yourself - that is the moment of opportunity.  that is when you learn just who you are, how strong you can be - and how beautiful this life is. there is beauty in the broken.

but i think there is more to it than that, even. there is the marvel of broken, but not in pieces. the marvel that comes of when you slowly mend yourself, learning and changing and becoming something more the process, and the beauty grows. the ancient japanese art of kintsugi is the best example of this i have seen in a long time.

kintsugi, meaning "golden joinery" or "to patch with gold", is an ancient japanese technique for repairing broken porcelain, pottery and glass. it is about taking ugly breaks and bringing pieces back together in beauty. but instead of hiding the cracks, or trying to pretend a piece is as good as new, kintsugi artists carefully repair a broken vessel with sticky resin that hardens as it dries. they sand it until it's nearly imperceptible to the touch, and then they take a lacquer combined with real gold and adorn the crack.

photograph and information from here. video on kintsugi here.

they highlight the cracks. they honor the breaks, even as they remold the pieces. i have believed this for years. that we must be broken - and acknowledge our broken, even as we rebuild ourselves - to become our truest selves. being human is a messy, beautiful thing, and so worth it. and this messy, beautiful life - it's even better when shared. so please - like glennon said - "come sit with me and we can laugh and cry and be broken and beautiful together."

fishing

people. i went fishing. like, cast the rod and hook a fish, fishing.  i did it for the light in this guy's eyes when he asked if i wanted to add eight-plus-hours of driving to eight-plus hours of flying get away for the weekend to fish.

i definitely had not packed for a fishing trip. unless you consider sundresses fishing gear. my guy is lucky i find him irresistible - woefully unprepared as i was, friday morning still saw us on the road to our fishing destination in wisconsin.

first step was to put our poles together.

then it was off to what i like to call the training lake - a small lake, one with miniature docks perfectly made for standing and teaching a newbie how to fish.

i learned how to cast, sort of - the details became clearer as the day went on. and then, i caught two fish! a rainbow trout and a brown trout. and i cringed at the idea that i was causing them pain and implored my guy to "get it out! hurry!" no hardened angler here - i honestly think i'd prefer to fish for eating, than catch-and-release, even if studies do say fish can't feel pain.

dinner was friday fish-fry at the dining room. as a concession to my presence, we skipped the rush-dinner-for-one-more-round-of-fishing routine, and instead wrapped up with hot chocolate and st. elmo's fire back at the cabin. saturday morning was an early start, so we could fully experience the early morning chill. still, the morning light and stillness was a moment i was glad to share with my guy.

we spent the morning without seeing anyone else, casting and occasionally catching, and watching. well, i was watching - because sometimes, watching someone you love do something they love, is really the most enjoyable thing to do right then.

we picked up a picnic lunch and moved over to the dam so i could learn a bit about dry fly fishing. i made a valid effort, caught a chub {which, apparently, is what you call a small fish that is good for bait but not a good catch} and then spent more time watching my guy enjoy himself.

the afternoon saw us on another lake, with a goal of catching some bass. the sun was shining so the fish weren't biting in the middle of the lake. which meant that i got the enviable job of rowing us around the perimeter of the lake so that he could cast into the weeds and catch the baby bass. arm workout for the day, check.

the day could not be complete without a stop by one last lake before dinner, where my guy caught a trout using a frog {a large fly designed to look like a frog}. this was apparently a first and very exciting. a fine cap to the day!

we finished out the evening with a prime rib dinner and a valiant attempt to watch, listen to or get updates on the notre dame football game, but the combination of terrible internet, low cell reception and 3 stations of pbs were not on our side.  sunday morning saw us back on the road, with a wonderful weekend under our belts and a new skill set {sort of} under mine!  i think i missed that haven of cultured wilderness the minute we pulled back onto the highway...

another round?

building habits: update 2

monthly update on my micro quotas and macro goals! like last month, i'm getting somewhere with a few, and nowhere with others, but most of my choices are a bit more intentional this time around. so, the update goes a little like this:

quota: thirty minutes of rosetta stone per day // goal: learn spanish
progress: i joined duolingo.com as a back-up method, a supplemental practice option, for those days when i'm not around my computer or can't seem to fit it in to sit down and do a few lessons.  that has helped me practice at least a little bit of spanish nearly every day, which is great, and definitely goes toward my overall goal.  for the next month, though, since things have been a bit heavy on the practice and a bit light on the learning, i'd like to focus on getting in some solid time with the rosetta stone lessons at least 3 times a week.
verdict: met, but always with room for improvement!

quota: two hours per weekend documenting // goal: digitize memorabilia
progress: oh goodness. i did actually make it to fedex-kinkos this month, but the experience caused me to totally re-evaluate how i want to make this goal happen. spending over an hour, and $4.99, to digitize 100 photos is neither cost- nor time-efficient. so! i started digging around the internet for a good flatbed photo scanner, and put it on my birthday list. this way, i can scan to my heart's content from the comfort of my couch. and! once i've tackled my personal stash, i can get started on ditigizing my parents' photos. waiting on the birthday means i haven't really made any progress on this goal, but i'm looking forward to getting this done with my new plan!
verdict: postponed due to a plan change {which, if i'm being honest, means: needs work!}

quota: one hour article work per week // goal: write an article by october 2013
progress: ohhh heavens. this one seems to be a struggle for me.
verdict: try again?

quota: go to bed/wake 15 minutes earlier daily turn off electronics by 11pm // goal: reasonable hours
progress: well. some days i turn off my electronics by 11. and on those days, i keep some pretty reasonable hours - generally in bed and asleep by midnight. but some days i don't. not as many days as when i was back in school, or even earlier this year, but still, too many days. and those days make for less than friendly mornings. and awful dark circles. vicious cycle, folks.
verdict: keep trying!

new quota: 3 green smoothies a week // new goal: healthier eating
progress: oh my. i seem to have dropped even the one a week i was managing last month.
verdict: rubbish. try again.

new quota: 3 workouts a week // new goal: healthy living
progress: this i am succeeding with! well, mostly. i just started running again, but before that i was rocking a bit of jillian. and i've added on a squat/sit-up challenge with my sister and her fella. i could probably use a little more variety in my work out, but since i seem to work out in waves, i think i'll try for consistency first.
verdict: mostly met...with room for improvement

next update in a month!

i was supposed to wake up at 7.

i explain "choose: peace" as the age-old change what you can, let go of what you can't. there are a lot of places where i run with this idea, and it's fantastic. and it really is the ultimate in advice for how to deal with your relationships and interactions with others, because when you have to account for more than you, there's a lot of letting go and making peace.

however. because i am {apparently} and adult, and adults {apparently} must work real jobs to pay for their real lives, i {apparently} must learn to change my sleeping habits.  oh, how i wish i could just "let go!" and forever be not-a-morning-person. but no, the powers that be are holding steady to their assertion that this is one of those things that falls under "change what you can must."  so! this morning, in a fit of ambition, i actually left the bed when the alarm went off at 7 am. and by left, i mean, did not get up to simply reset the alarm for later and immediately crawl back into bed. but! back to the ambition. i turned off the noise and dragged my barely-open eyes to the couch, where i powered up my laptop. the plan was to read the news and blogs, in an effort to do the whole "accomplish things in the morning and get to work at a good time" goal.  like i said, ambition.

anyone want to guess how well this worked out for me?

i fell asleep on the couch. that's right. i left the bed, dragged myself to the couch, opened up the {bright! glaring even!} laptop, and fell. asleep. ambition = 0. habit = 1. but you know what? i'm going to classify this as progress. because i actively did not crawl back into bed. baby steps, people. and lest you worry i slept through work, let me reassure you i did not. i know myself better than to trust that ambition would win the day, so i set a second alarm that got me dressed and out the door at an almost-respectable time.

in case there was any question about whether i was a morning person {not that i ever questioned it}, i'm pretty sure this little adventure confirms i am not.

love flash mob

do you read glennon's words over at momastery? if not, you should try it. glennon's words have provided me much food for thought, and even more, a constant reminder of the magic of love. love can move mountains, lift up a broken and weary soul, bring together distant strangers, and shine a guiding light in dark moments. glennon and her monkees have built a network {using the equally magical internet} where strangers join {e-}hands to do hard things, stories are shared, mistakes are accepted, individual quirks are celebrated, and love wins.

today, glennon and the monkees are tapping into that network of love, joining e-hands to show four families that love wins. today is a LOVE FLASH MOB day, where the momastery world donates what they can to give to those who need. today, momastery {through their charity arm, monkee see - monkee do} is helping four little ones {and their families} to get guardian angel service dogs that, due to special conditions, the little ones dearly need to monitor their health and/or safety.  no pressure here - really! none, at all - but if you are interested in being a part of today's magic, click on over to read glennon's words about compassion and the four little ones in need of it today. donations are limited to $25, and every penny goes directly to those in need.

quote: wayne dyer.

abeautifulmess selfies: 27-30

day 27   ::   day 28

day 29   ::    day 30

foundation of respect

i just finished a non-fiction work by kurt vonnegut. honest assessment? i'm not a big fan. it's a disorderly collection of pieces of articles and speeches he's used before, accompanied by commentary that sometimes clarifies the pieces and sometimes doesn't. put it all together and what you get is one big ol' judgmental mish-mash that is not worth the $9.99 amazon is currently charging for it. {thank goodness i picked it up on a kindle daily deal sale for $0.99!} i hear his fiction is better, so here's hoping i won't be as frustrated when i finally crack open slaughterhouse five.

that being said, there was one anecdote that i actually related to. in a discussion on religion and marriage, he noted that people get divorced "because they don't love each other anymore" and likened it to "trading in a car when the ashtrays are full."  he clarified that "the transmission is shot and there's a crack in the engine block" when you no longer respect each other.  i think that perspective - that respect, more than love, is the foundation of a lasting relationship - deserves serious consideration.  because really, isn't it the love that is built on friendship and respect that lasts? {with a healthy dose of chemistry, of course ;)}.

abeautifulmess selfies: 23-26

day 23   ::   day 24

day 25   ::   day 26

abeautifulmess selfies: 19-22

day 19   ::   day 20

day 21   ::   day 22

building habits: update 1

about a month ago, i posted about my micro quotas and macro goals, and promised an update. i'm getting somewhere with a few, and almost nowhere with others. and then there are the ones i forgot to mention, but have been working on anyway.  so, the update goes a little like this:

quota: thirty minutes of rosetta stone per day // goal: learn spanish
progress: minus the week my guy was visiting, i have managed at least 15 minutes a day. not exactly 30 minutes, but daily use! plus, i seem to get through a lot of the units faster than the stated time, so those 15 minutes are solid learning :)
verdict: semi-met, but definitely room for improvement.

quota: two hours per weekend documenting // goal: digitalize memorabilia
progress: i haven't managed to make it to fedex-kinko's yet to start digitalizing old photos (which is a major part of the goal), but i did manage to finish the 2009 family photobook for my mom and keep my 2013 photobook up to date. i don't know if i'd consider this semi-met or not, since i really want to get those photos in digital format and haven't yet.
verdict: needs work!

quota: one hour article work per week // goal: write an article by october 2013
progress: zero.
verdict: try again?

quota: go to bed and wake 15 minutes earlier each day // goal: reasonable hours
progress: i don't even know how to gauge this. it varies daily, with a lot of days being decent on bedtime, but other days being absolutely awful. i think maybe this micro-quota needs to be revised...new version, "turn off electronics by 11pm."
verdict: try the new angle!

new quota: 3 green smoothies a week // new goal: healthier eating
progress: at least one a week, but if i can manage the reasonable hours, then more smoothies will be a lot simpler to manage.
verdict: will improve in tandem with reasonable hours, but pretty rubbish presently.

new quota: 3 workouts a week // new goal: healthy living
progress: does paddle boarding count? because if so, then i have improved on this one quite a bit in the last week or so. even managed 2 rounds of jillian and some pinterest routine my sister dragged me through. just have to keep it up now...
verdict: semi-met, but definitely room for improvement.

next update in a month!

red pencil skirt

i felt the urge to be crafty this weekend. felt it in that overwhelming, can't ignore it kind of way. do you know what i'm talking about? no? oh well. regardless, for the sake of my sanity, something had to be created! but. biiiig but. i'm also trying to be frugal about my personal spending, so i didn't want to just run out to the nearest store and buy craft supplies. that meant painting, refashioning, and furniture remodeling {ha!} were out. i even tried making some progress on an ongoing cross-stitch first, but that wasn't really doing it for me.

enter a red knit fabric. once purchased to be the skirt of a homemade maxi dress, it has been sitting under my bed for a year now. but it could still be a skirt, right? right. and since my guy has recently expressed a like for pencil skirts... i decided to go for a casual pencil skirt. very casual, thanks to my lack of skills re clean seams on knits. alas. {i meant to post a semi-tutorial, but i forgot to take enough pictures along the way... sorry. i was distracted by the doctor&rose!}. anyway, try this one from merrick's art if you're interested in making your own!

 front    ::    back

 front again, with a look at the waistband {elastic, thankyouverymuch}

zigzag hem-stitch in blue. because contrast detail is cool. 

{orrrr i didn't have red thread.}

abeautifulmess selfies: 15-18

day 15   ::   day 16

  

 

day 17   ::   day 18