Wednesday, November 27, 2013

quick takes

a bbc piece on why you think your phone is ringing when it isn't. which i find fascinating because i have this issue all. the. time.

alright, i'm going to weigh in - in a brief kind of way - on the debate over marital philosophy that has been sparked by this post, "marriage isn't for you." the philosophy that is encompassed in his statements that " don't marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy... marriage isn't for you. it's not about you. marriage is about the person you married." now, there is so much worth to one element of that philosophy - that being selfish can damage a relationship, and consideration of the other person is fundamental. however, the issue i have with it is it still presumes a focus on one person or the other. but marriage isn't about one person and one person. it is about two people choosing to be one unit. and that's not to say you give up your individuality, but ... well. since i have yet to experience marriage, i'll borrow the words of someone who has. the last two paragraphs of this response to the original post say it really well:
          Marriage isn't for the person you marry. Marriage is for... the marriage. Marrying is deciding that the two of you, together, are more important than either of you alone. Marriage is a partnership, not a sacrifice to the altar of someone else's joy. Marriage is a long-term commitment to going at it as a team, not a long-term commitment to ensuring someone else feels good all the time. There will be days when marriage will be so out of balance that you'll believe you're sucking the life out of your spouse, or that they're draining you of all substance. That's ok. That's what marriage does. And that's what marriage is.          I would tell my children -- if they asked -- to marry because you love someone who loves you back. Marry because you can't imagine being without this person. But most of all, marry because this person makes you happy. If someone is making you happy, chances are you're doing the same for them. But never, ever give up your own happiness on a regular basis to ensure someone else's.
keeping with the relationship theme, 9 really helpful relationship tips. and not just because that's a paraphrase of the article title, but because they really are good tips.

this discussion of the evolution of the period (and other punctuation) in the digital age came courtesy of my fella. i just had to share it, because it is so spot on.

have you ever seen golden girls? i discovered it during college {when late-night tv was not quite as detrimental to the next day as it is now} and loved it.  you may think it's not for you, since it's from the 80s and tells the stories of four older ladies, but it's actually solid gold comedy and pretty racy - i'm pretty sure the only reason they got away with a lot of what was said/insinuated was exactly because it stars four older ladies. anyway, if you haven't ever seen it this may not amuse you, but if you have... here are 23 signs you  might be blanche devereaux.

smellfungus, n.‘ A discontented person; a grumbler, faultfinder. Also attrib.’]
Etymology: the name by which L. Sterne designated T. Smollett on account of the captious tone of the latter's book, Travels through France and Italy (1766).

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